After a feeding, I laid Jordan on his mat to play. (He became fussy, as the 7 o'clock hour has now become the time that he wants to go to bed. Mommy and Daddy would prefer a couple of hours later so we only have to get up once during the night.) I went into the office and left him to stew on his mat a little bit. When I came out, he had soothed himself into a partial nap by sucking on his hand/thumb. He started to squirm a bit so I decided not to fight it. I picked him up and went to rock him to sleep for a nap.
Once we got to the chair, he was wide awake. All he could do was look up at me and smile with the widest, sweetest smile I have ever seen. He smiled at me with his eyes, as well as his mouth. It was evident that all affection on earth at that moment was directed at me. The transparent love nearly brought me to tears. It is really an experience that defies explanation.
And I reveled in the moment.
Then, I wondered... How long will he look at me like this? How long will he dote on me? At what point will things change, if they ever do? Will he always look at me in the same reverential way? And assuming that he doesn't, what did I do to change that? Was it a single event? Or a multitude of things?
Those are moments that I guess I will deal with when we get there. For now, I will enjoy them.
Thought of the moment: Humility.
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